We Almost Didn't Make It

In this episode we talk about the toll being married and working together took on our relationship. the importance of communication especialy when working together. Our relationship hasn't always been rainbows and butterflies.

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Transcript

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oh hi everybody welcome to BeautyTainment Podcast with your host Claudia and you can find me at Vanidosa Beauty and Lee Boy Savage right here on Instagram and we're on episode 4 yeah like four episodes down right before Christmas this won't be out before Christmas so you'll be hearing this after Christmas probably before New Years but Happy New Years Merry Christmas and all the other holidays I guess that we we've missed you know right I'm kinda ready for it to be over it came up quick man it just you were just saying that this morning right yeah yeah when do you have Christmas tree up yeah I don't think at this point I don't think it's gonna happen no our poor kids ain't getting Christmas tree this year they're getting a gift yeah of sorts it's one of those years it's just fucking boom I feel like we were just kind of thinking about Thanksgiving and like the schedule and stuff and then like oh hi I'm I'm Christmas I'm here yeah it just it just came up quick man so just to jump in on it Roundy I'm just gonna go ahead and just just launch myself into today's episode let's do it okay so guys today we're talking about losses right so we've been in business for about 12 years yeah and I always my one of my favorite quotes has always been it takes 10 years to become an overnight success yeah for sure right we're not where I wanna be I know we're not where you wanna be not at all at all no um but it has taken it has taken great it has taken like a lot of work right business is not for the weak weak hearted or weak minded that's for sure no and it's and it takes a toll and there's a lot of losses and then there's a lot of lessons that you have to learn um and they're not all they're not none of them are easy to go through to be honest now what is it Edison failed a thousand time or was it like 1,000 10,000 10,000 times to get it one right or something to get one right and this fucking that's that's the truth right there with business and I feel like a lot of the lessons too you have to learn more than once that's what that's what life in general but yeah you have business in there and it's just an extra thing to add to your life you know what I mean and I feel like one of the things that people don't talk about specially and I don't know I I I guess I can't say specially but I guess both ways um when the toilet takes on your relationship yeah it's it's that's gnarly yeah yeah yeah it is well like I think I think people have a perception that like cause they see us on Instagram it's you know but this wasn't always like this and listen we capture the good stuff yeah we capture the good stuff you guys don't see the battles and you don't see the previous years where we went through it we're a lot better we work a lot better now but previously like it was a battle it was like a constant battle to like be around each other yeah I think I think we for a while we were really distant with each other and we kind of we almost became just roommates for a while yeah relationship took a toll and you know there was a time there where it didn't look like it was gonna last yeah if I'm being honest yeah and I think for my part um I can tell you that I was so into the business this is before of course you you came on fully but I was so in graded in being a technician and in what I was doing and I didn't see anything outside it's like it wasn't a bubble and it wasn't a good bubble yeah you know especially because um when you come up from I don't wanna say not having anything but when you come from having very little to having a lot more than you're used to it creates ego right it's like that saying that that I that I I we were talking about the other day yeah when you succeed quickly you created it created Seagull when you create slow when you succeed slowly it creates character yeah and I think I think also to when you have a bunch of people around you just yes people tell you you're so awesome isn't that cause uh it creates a bigger ego you had you had an ego there for a while yeah that's what I'm saying like it was all ego it was it was and it's it's different from confidence um hum ego and confidence I don't think are the same thing and I've I've Learned that now yeah but if you're in this bubble and you you know how they say like you don't wanna be the smartest person in the room yeah a lot of the times whether I put myself there and I'm not saying like oh you know but you want people you that you could learn from and that have a high moral standing that are doing better than you that can tell you when you're doing bad and so when you don't have that around that creates ego and when you when you're around shit and you you step on it you you gonna get shit on your shoes that's true and you gotta be challenged if you don't have people around you that are challenging you that's what it is too you're in the wrong environment cause you don't grow unless you're being challenged yeah and I know I know for me there was years and looking back at it now there was years where maybe my craft got a little better but sometimes even that was stagnant to me and I didn't understand why yeah but I think it was a whole like it it was um what would you call it it was like a whole atmosphere yeah around me at that point yeah and it created I think a resentment on both sides yeah for sure I know I was feeling resentful towards you and it was going vice versa and we just weren't taking each other we couldn't even talk to each other for a while nah it wasn't and then to be honest like I was in construction so I was working hard every day like with my body and I didn't know the intricacies of of what you were doing so to me it was just like oh she's just over there hanging out with her friends and you know tattooing little eyebrows and shit so I didn't respect I didn't respect the work that went into it all the time so it to me I was I was like um how do I explain it like a mini petiti no no no I just I didn't uh I didn't value what you're doing to to to the point you were doing it you know as a as a business yeah yeah yeah in a sense cause I was on the outside looking in and you know I'd come and help and dabble and I had a suggestions but since I wasn't in it and you had such an ego you weren't really taking my suggestions so that created a little bit of resentment to be fair your suggestions were not suggesting were like do this do that and I was like dude I barely even had time to eat today but that was because like you're saying you didn't know the intricacies of the business and you didn't know how packed my schedule was no I had no idea I had no idea to be honest I I never really did office work or like computer work and all that type of stuff so it was all physical labor construction you know so when I came in and being around men being around men yeah so you know I didn't know how to communicate with women on a women's level like that as far as work you know guys we we we talk shit to each other and like we kind of break each other down to motivate each other and that doesn't work with women it does not I Learned that the hard way you know like we thrive through criticism as men and yeah women do not and that that was a hard lesson for me to learn yeah like like the memes you and your friends sent to each other yeah you can't really do that with women you can't be like ah bitch you fat ah no but like man we talk shit like right right like bro you're stupid like you can't do that with women no and no we're more sophisticated than that and I could I could I communicate with you like as I did with my boys you know right right and that was kind of that took a toll and you know I didn't I really really did not realize how hard your job was I didn't yeah so when I got in here I get more tired working on the computer all day than I did construction and that fucking blew my mind it blows my mind still yeah yeah and even even me that I've been doing it for so long you know like it's still it it it it still takes I don't wanna say it takes a toll on me but it still is it's difficult you know cause especially for a woman especially for a mom when you have children like you you wanna be everywhere 100% and as a wife yeah and so you wanna be everywhere at 100% and so when a small fraction of that which is you know my work um is not valued it creates resentment yeah and so I think you and I had a big issue in communicating we oh we just didn't communicate right you know always huge we were we became adversaries for a while yeah instead of being allies and working together we were kind of like on guard with each other all the time yeah but that created a lot of turmoil you know yeah but I will say I will take um responsibility like I created the environment that I was in for sure yeah for sure and so now and you seen it in me like now the people that are around me like if something if I see a I always tell everybody if I see a pink flag I'm out I don't even wait for that red flag yeah you're quick to cuss I'm I'm quick like if um I don't know if you remember I went to I went to uh get a pedicure one time uh huh and so there was this gal we got along so we ended up getting a pedicure together and she says to me oh you're so lucky never talk to her again I don't remember that but yeah well I mean you know like this is not luck it takes a lot of fucking work a lot of work and it's daily work and it's a grind yeah and it's you know and I don't even use the word hustle cause I I don't hustle like I I work and I I set goals and dedication it's dedication and it's consistency no for sure oh my God and so I remember and and I talked to you about it at that time and so I went to go get the pedicure and I was like oh man first of all all she was doing was complaining already you're fucking with my energy bro yeah yeah you know like if you're I can talk with you about a problem but you have to bring me a solution oh I remember you talking about remember yeah yeah yeah yeah and all she was doing was complaining about her husband and shit remember yeah and so there's a way I think to do that but not by like to me if you're putting your your spouse down and ah he saw this and he saw that and like I don't know it's just like the energy for me I was just like this is not for me and so I was like hmm I don't think we're gonna hang out again and so I just I I haven't seen her since no but if you're just around negativity is gonna have an effect on you yes yes it is it's going to no matter what exactly and uh I think there for a while we were in negative environments yeah and we were producing them too you know what I mean so like I don't I I try to be a self aware as I can now I'm sure I could do better but you I created that negativity too yeah and then you when you have followers fuck that shit fucking just exponentially gets worse yeah and relationships are hard anyways yeah if you're I mean if you're in a relationship you guys know it's hard but add business to it and add money like money concerns on them and in two different ways of of doing stuff doing stuff and managing money and managing kids and managing life that shit is is hard it takes a toll and I see it we have couple friends that do business together we know a lot of couples and and you could see the stress and we were there so we know it and we we we recognize it and uh we've gone through it it's it's communication like yeah there's a um what book is it that we read the Godman method no the Godman method G O t t a m something like Godman you guys should look that up cause man it it it's not only for relationship it just teach you how to communicate and um communication is fucking everything and I think that's what we were saying like we didn't know how to communicate with each other yeah so sometimes you feel criticized and then sometimes I feel criticized and it was like the other princess like I'm just talking to you but we just didn't know and at the same time you and I are very much I think leaders so we thrive in leadership positions so in a relationship with business one of us with whatever we're doing has to take take just one step back yeah and I think that one step is so difficult for you and I um we're getting better at it yeah but you know like sometimes it has to be like okay well you got this I'm gonna be your wingman if you need something you let me know what to do yeah cause something could I think it feels sometimes when you have to like take a step back and let the other person take the lead it feels like a failure it feels like it feels it feels like you're being submissive and we I don't think we're either of us or submissive people no no so there there was battles there yeah but I think I think now it's a mindset thing yeah you know we still have issues and we still battle but we learn how to uh get out of it and not not hold on to it you know yeah yeah and I think for me one of the things that that I've Learned is just what you said like now I don't see it as a missing or like cause okay we like I like control a little bit yeah you're spicy as shit and I'm spicy as shit so I'm better now I was just telling you like I need to I need to find out some like relaxing relaxing mechanisms yeah but now so what I do now it's like it's like what you always tell me it's a mindset thing so now it's like okay just because somebody else is doing it and it has nothing to do with you but just because somebody else is doing it doesn't mean it's not gonna get right yeah right yeah exactly and it's okay to let go yeah and you have to remember like when your relationship or business but you guys have the same the same interest but you guys are wanna go to the same place is just different ways of doing it so when somebody's coming with a different perspective they have the same value the same goal and you just have to kind of take accept it as that instead of looking at them as a uh adversary yeah yeah and so I think one of the things that also really helped us was um like how we have our Monday meetings so we delegate uh responsibilities to each other and then we discuss who would be better for them yeah and one of the things that we need to get up better at now is like okay once we delegate those things let it go let it go let it go and we both do that shit yeah we're both looking over each other shoulder is she doing that and I'm like hey so what's going on with this thing and that you were supposed to do but we we do like get the hell out of my office goddamn let me do it yeah that goes both ways yeah yeah I know I know it does but we don't but we both do it and so I think that's what we're but our communication now is so much better yeah and I think coming back to that book one of the things that I've Learned is to apologize first just as soon as you like something happens I'm gonna say I'm sorry and then let's figure it out cause that automatically like diffuses the situation yeah you're better at that I have to uh I have to take some time to there's an adjustment period yeah yeah and then another thing you know what I used to do as I was getting to you know I got into the business books and all that first in the mindset books yeah and I was reading this stuff and I it was clicking in my head and I was trying to like force feed it down your throat and in force feeding anything down somebody's throat they're never gonna be receptive to it yeah and then you're like fuck she's not listening to me she's not taking this and then you get resentment you know yeah and I think at that point it wasn't a discussion yeah it was just like a direction yeah like this is what you do this do that you know and so had we had a discussion about it cause I'm a reader too you know so I probably would have been like open to it yeah but at the same at the same time like would have been open was I was I in that mindset I I don't think you were but but maybe I had had the approach had the approach been different but now you know we kind of like the communication got better we're still working on it and uh you could always get better at communication and if you could communicate better with your spouse you could communicate better with the outside world yeah yeah cause I think we get at at that time I think we were getting a lot of I don't wanna say negativity from each other we were getting a lot of positivity and so now I think I give you positivity and it rises you up and you give me positivity and it rise me up yeah so we have changed that dynamic between us yeah government method the government method yeah G O t t a m I I don't remember how you spell it but Google it'll come up just Google as it um but man that book we went through we listened to it and then we had the actual book so we were reading it and back and forth like I think um that yeah that saved us well it takes effort it's just like business it takes fucking effort everyday you gotta wake up and put effort towards your business is the same with the relationship uh huh and then you have the two combined it's double triple times the effort so it's it takes effort every fucking day yeah and so there's this this uh statistic that I had looked up that I keep fucking up but it says that 85% of the couples that go into business stay together cause I think it's for a lot of reasons I think it's for a lot of reasons I think one of the reasons it just becomes more difficult to separate haha honestly right like you like you and I right now I think we're so um interdependent in a sense yeah yeah and I I don't think that you can't you're you can't do stuff that I can't do and I don't think that vice versa well my money is tied up with you so I can't go nowhere exactly that's what I'm saying that's what the divorce rate is so low but I think like I don't know I think it's a good thing you know like um I I need you for certain things and you need me for certain things and yeah your creativity helps me a lot and I think staying on task and creating a list and like those uh the organization the organization helps you yeah because like those are things that we see that we can help each other with yeah you know and so I think once you concentrate on the positive then you open yourself to learning to speak to each other better yeah so that was one of our failures though in the past you know that that was one but a lot of lessons were Learned from it and it's it's like business if you don't keep pushing forward you're gonna give up and you're gonna fucking let the business go in the same with the relationship if you don't get past like the hurdles and put some effort into it you're gonna give up and just walk away and it's like everything else consistency and communicating with each other consistency and like um acknowledging acknowledging each other's work yeah um and then we got into um what is that called the love method no the love language all love languages we got into that too for a little bit and so I was really hopeful cause I was like oh shit you mean you like this but I don't feel this is not my love language so like we're we're not disconnected but we're not like finding each other at a crossroad because of it yeah cause I need to talk to you in your love language you need to talk to me yeah and then what is it like seven different ones or yeah I think it's seven and so we were like that was for me anyway I didn't even know that had existed you know cause I'm not like you know one of those people that looks like a bunch of love shit but I think when I discovered I was like oh my God that's like totally me and oh my God that's totally you like yeah that makes sense yeah yeah yeah you know it helps you gotta I mean it's it's effort but we fucking tried cause I was like I will not fail at this relationship yeah there for a while though it was it was it got rough yeah I think when we got here it was like okay there's nobody there's nothing outside but you and me we don't know anybody so it forced us to come together which I think we needed and we were more intentional with our time and the way we talked to each other and cause we we we were at a a fork in the road you know we were very much in a fork in the road so we didn't become intentional with the way we spoke to each other the way we spent our time it could it could have went the other way easily yeah yeah and I think it it just it just takes one decision yeah and it could have gone either way yeah yeah for sure but luckily we're still here and you still have me yeah so lessons lessons like failures don't be afraid to fail cause failures honestly the best teacher in this world yeah and you learn lessons from every failure and uh I think relationships is yeah everybody's gonna fail in relationships it's just are you gonna get through that and like turn it around or are you gonna give up and try to become self aware I think one of the things that I've Learned from that is being self aware I've told you like anytime I have a hurdle or anytime I have difficulties I talk to myself what happens is to me anyway when you're not self aware and you have all these yes people around you're talking to yourself and you're lying to yourself and you're telling yourself things are okay when they're not yeah and you start justifying shit that you're doing you start justifying shit that you do and then you have people around you that are feeding into that justification yeah you know yeah um so honestly like from back then there's only my bestie that I talk to yeah now and you know it's it's she was always like a positivity or whatever but you have to be able to listen to the people that will confront you and tell you when you're wrong yeah for sure and that's self awareness man like I think now I I I wanna become more self aware but I think I'm a lot better now so now I like really think like does this it it does this go with my values does the way I'm thinking am I really does the way I'm thinking um go along with my values yeah and if it doesn't okay well then I need to have a conversation with myself or even with you about what I'm thinking yeah these lessons would never happen how do we not fail right like you know cause that was a failure I think so I think both of us in our own in our own ways were failures you know yeah like I wasn't showing up like I was supposed to show up and you know and I wasn't receiving it yeah so that that was that I think that's been our biggest failure and our biggest lesson that we've Learned that like is is more than business but it helps in the business too yeah and I think um that in that in effect brings us uh better relationships all around yeah and it helps us talk to people better yeah yeah just understanding how to talk to you between you and I yeah for sure if you guys are hearing stuff in the background we have our two kids as Christmas break so if they're being loud I I'm picking them up a little bit so if you hear that it's just it's just our little I'm just blocking them out yeah that's it yeah yeah yeah for sure um okay so we'll move on yeah yeah a lot so anyway look at you about to cry I was about to cry so another thing that I think that we did going into the business part of it another thing that we I think we did for a long time was um working setting up ourselves as a soul prop that was a big failure operating as a soul prop for so long operating as a soul prop it's the worst yeah it's the worst for you if you're operating as a soul prop get a CPA learn and get incorporated cause you're losing so much money in your you're holding yourself back from from scaling and growing so much like so prob that's probably one of the worst things you can operate as and um and so I talked to to Cassie which is our our bookkeeper and she does mention like up until you get to 100,000 well you should have an LLC period yeah so we are an escort after you make 100,000 it's recommended that you go into an escort so her and I talked about that but you should operate you should not be operating as a soul prop you should be operated as LSE at the very minimum while operating as a soul prop too you can't get business credit that was my main thing like had had we been operating as a corporation like from the beginning like when we did the school we could have funded that school with all credit you know what I mean instead of using our own money then we lost all the money but had been credit we would have walked away and still had our money in our pocket you know yeah and so at that point we were operating all cash right yeah and that was dumb it was it was dumb yeah yeah but again I think it goes back to like what you and I have talked about and we talked about this podcast before we didn't have anybody really telling us like here here's a blueprint of how to do things or are our parents or or anybody I think the only business people that we knew were doing illicit business so we couldn't really ask him like hey how are you like doing your taxes yeah we didn't know shit I think Robert Kurosaki the with the rich teacher rich man poor dad that like change our mindset a little bit and we started varying in the direction we're supposed to but it was kinda already late in the game when we learn that you know yeah I mean you know we're doing it right now so I don't know if it was late in the game but I definitely wish we would have Learned about that early well we would have been allowed further along in our business oh yeah like had we been operating and Learned this stuff previously yeah we would have been allowed further along yeah and I wish like I don't even know how we ended up turning I don't even know how long we've been in in a corporation for but I wore five years at least no longer than that I'm saying at least yeah that um I definitely wish we would have done it sooner though yeah we just didn't know you don't know what you don't know and if you don't if you don't seek out the knowledge you never gonna you never gonna know yeah and so I'm and I think uh going back to Robert Kurosaki he mentions this a lot like so he's like 1,000 years old right so when he was doing um when he started in business there was um there was no YouTube of course no there was no coaching no there was no there was no Google there was no Google yeah and you had to like if you you're doing business in China like you had to like find a connection fly out there talk to them and not your native language you know and so that's how our things were done back then this is like in the 70s or the 60s right uh 70s 80s someone like yeah whatever and so even 10 years ago 12 years ago um YouTube wasn't what it was Instagram all these things weren't what they weren't what they were now yeah so now you find exponential amount of information so now there's like no reason for you not to know I think yeah well even like if you look at like the the musicians the rappers and all that back in the 90s the 80s they were getting fucked on money cause they didn't know how to operate as a business yeah man these these artists now are so much more uh business heavy they're they're creating like empires you know and they're getting paid cause before they all ended up broke yeah and so I think that lesson was a really expensive lesson to learn but we Learned it yeah but like I said when you fail it's it's it's a good thing cause then you learn your lesson but if you don't learn your lesson then you you you're gonna keep doing the same shit over and over and over you know yeah so I think that takes us back to being self aware yeah like you have to say okay this is not working or I don't know anybody who can help me with this let me figure it out don't just keep making the same fucking mistake over and over yeah cause that's trust me that's stupid you you stay stagnant it's just like it it doesn't take you anywhere yeah so if you become a little a little self aware you don't know how to do that search it out dude like there's so much information out there that there's no reason for anybody to be fucking dumb honestly well stop googling the Kardashians and shit Google some business shit what do you have against the Kardashian nobody right yeah or watching what you're watching on Netflix or fucking Love Island or whatever the fuck you're watching you know what I mean haha what haha he says that but he likes that show haha okay that's the one show that we do watch yeah we'll watch that show once in a while okay but there but like you have better there's better ways to spend your time you know okay and the Tiger King oh the Tiger King was a shit okay everybody everybody watches Tiger King like come on yeah yeah yeah I mean you gotta have your little guilty pleasures you know I think that was my guilty pleasure right there yeah yeah for sure that dude was a shit oh my God that dude was like a whole thing yeah free the King Tiger King how do you want to dress like what was her name Carol what was her name Carol was it Carol Carol or Karen Carol Carol Carol remember I just saw that meme uh huh what did it say I would sing you a Christmas song but I don't like Carol oh yeah haha but anyways the information's out there you guys just gotta go look for it stop wasting um wasting your time and stuff on stupid shit if you need to learn something go find it okay and okay so that takes me to my next point another thing spending money right okay so you just said if you don't have information go look out for it go look for it we didn't have the we didn't have the resources we didn't have the information to know where to put our money so what did we do we spent it while you're talking to like two ghetto kids that grew up fucking in the hood and what a hood people do when they first get a little bit of money like we we were we spent it we were hood rich you know remember you bought that grill what what girl for your teeth I never bought no fucking girl don't start don't start I'm fucking medallion I'm just you better stop it I ain't fucking wearing no shit like that but we were here to reach out so you start spending you start buying you're able to buy shit that you never bought before go to restaurants and shit that you know and it was like it was stupid things right yeah it was like trips to target oh we would go to fucking target and fucking every weekend we were popping tags in target and of course we had kids so it was like oh let's get them this let's get him that I never had that when I was a kid let's get him this yeah we were like pushing our fucking childhood onto them with the shit they're like I don't like it you'll fucking like it right you spend money on it but when you're hood rich you're from the hood and you get you get a little bit of money you kind of you kind of go a little crazy and uh yeah we wasted so much money that could have been that could have been put to better things into further our our business that was another huge mistake we made and yeah but also we Learned lessons from it when you when when when you spend all that money you you're up and you spend all that money and then the time gets slow and you're like fuck I'm gonna pay rent how we gonna do this it's it's a lesson it's a lesson I I think we we didn't put our money away for rainy days nah um we were like I don't think I was even taking trips at that time cause I was so super busy um but it was just like stupid shit I honestly I don't even remember what probably eating now that's probably oh man we're fucking food dude fucking breakfast lunch dinner we were just fucking yeah we were eating all like fucking even when we moved to San Antonio we pretty much we kind of we kind of slip back in cause it was fun you know we just you said you get to explore it was cool though but you know what okay so so okay I'm gonna say that that ties in we were going on a lot of lunch dates yeah yeah so I was I'm I'm gonna I'm I don't regret spending the money um eating out when we got here because honestly like we were getting to know each other we needed it we needed it yeah cause uh cause in California before we moved here we weren't like how we said we got intentional with our time and intentional how we spoke with each other and everything so Santa moving here was was a huge fucking deal with our relationship and helped us work what we had to work out you know yeah and I think like a lot of the failures like the cosmetology school that we talked about where we lost $250,000 yeah um we we left we left those failures and bought the lessons with us you know and try to do better out here so that first year we did spend quite a bit of money on food but it was so fucking fun babe it was fun but but how do we you know put still a little bit less from five days a week to two days a week we could have put a little money away yeah yeah but again like you know that honestly I would get all the money we spent back when we were in California but the money that we spent here that first year and it was really only the first year we went crazy with the money in San Antonio um I don't regret it we had so much fun like even looking for a cool restaurant we're like oh do you think what do you think about this what do you think about that so like it was like it was a bonding opportunity for you and I yeah we know it was good but like you said in California we we were hood rich for a little bit yeah we know we didn't know how to act with money so we just started fucking DVDs remember how much money we used to spend on DVDs oh yeah oh man we were buying like fucking DVDs galore and where are they where's all those DVDs at I I don't know I think the kids scratched it a bunch of them are in the fucking trash right they're fucking gone we used them like frisbees yeah yeah they're gone so that was good times so like uh come on with the plan with your financial plan figure out where to put your money invest it um you know I started getting a crypto that was a good I did we did good with crypto and yeah yeah that was your thing you you really you really like doing that and I think that goes back to you being so creative yeah like where you kinda look outside the box and you you're like oh I like this shit and then you make it work you make it profitable um yeah but I I don't I'm not a person who spends money on like purses or shoes or shit like that yeah but I'm telling you you tell me this 20 dollar tacos bomb yeah give me five I like I like the food I like gadgets a little bit you know me and my sister you do like you do like a bunch of gadgets little gadgets but not not nothing crazy you know what I mean no but they add up but definitely lesson we we Learned the hard way and you know now we're implementing the what we Learned from the failures and it's it's it's so much fucking better yeah and I think in terms of the money what we do now we do um the pay yourself first method yeah which is essentially having four different business accounts and you have to you guys have to look into it I I absolutely love doing that um but it's four different bank accounts and so you divide your money up into certain percentages and so you always have to pay yourself and then from that that's kind of like your play money in a sense yes and then another sorry and another thing before I forget be another thing that we also did do was the whole life insurance insurance um and so you're the one that that found the book that kind of started opening us up to that well it's podcast and I start reading books and I started getting really heavy on like investing you know what I mean and figure out ways to invest the money to get some I I wouldn't call it passive income I don't think there's no such thing as really passive income you know what I mean yeah but who wants to be passive income you wanna have fun with your income but I get it yeah yeah yeah but I wanted to learn how to invest for myself I don't wanna go pass my money off to somebody else and have them in control of my money cause if they lose it I'm gonna be fucking pissed and if I lose myself I can only blame myself I can't blame somebody else so I wanted to learn how to invest for myself so I start getting into crypto and then I start looking at the life insurance policies and how to use that as the what do they call infinite banking the infinite banking system yeah infinite banking system and man that's fucking you guys gotta look at that infinite baking is the fucking way to go and so the book is what would the Rockefellers do what would the Rockefellers do and then there's a farming without the bank there's there's quite a few people that that that that preach that system but that system is fucking amazing yeah and I think I really like farming without the bank by um Joanne uh no not Joanne well how do oh man I hate that word fucking I know um you guys have to look it up it farming but not the bank but it's not about farming but she specifically helps farmers but it is essentially the same thing yeah and so I specifically I specifically like that one because it has a bunch of graphs and numbers and it gives you like something really solid to look at yeah and I I will tell you like I'm I was kind of hesitant about that because it's unconventional yeah but again your creativity kind of brought us to this and I was like okay I I trust you with this that you're doing the best best for our family yeah then then uh fuck I wouldn't do it any other way I'm gonna fucking insurance police on the kids insurance policies on the fucking employees I want insurance policies on everybody that that's where I want my money going insurance policies and for tax purposes that's the way to go yeah you you guys gotta read that book and just get into that shit Walmart has life insurance policies on all their employees well that's what the banks and all the big corporations do on all their C O's everybody they take out life insurance policies and it's like hedging then you're able to get some to borrow it it's a whole strategy it's too much to get into yeah but you guys you guys should definitely um look it up there's a bunch of stuff online too yeah on the YouTube and stuff yeah yeah but definitely um your money get smart with your money cause that's a hard lesson and you deal with money every fucking day if you don't learn how to operate with it I mean it's it's it makes your life so much fucking harder if you don't learn it and I've know um it's like beating a dead horse but the cosmetology school I would say that was our biggest financial loss but what I I will tell you that I got out of it you will see who is on your side yeah you will see who's on your side for sure um man we try to make that thing work we really really fucking did we spent everything we had on it oh we were scraping pennies out of the fucking couch to make that shit work literally yeah and we were so fucking close so fucking close um but at the same time you know I I now I kind of say like I don't know how successful it would have been cause I don't know if I was ready yeah for that responsibility one I don't know if I was um I wasn't creating systems yet no um and I didn't understand how systems are made to run any business yeah even a tiny business yeah yeah we I think with the with the with the school we got a fucking education and business a hard education and expensive education but that's what we got out of it yeah yeah and so even business school is like half a million dollars we got it 2 for 1 2 for 250,000 but don't don't be scared to fail cause honestly fail you gotta fail you gotta fail forward though don't fail backwards fail forward yeah and um I mean this comes with technology school we Learned a lot from it a lot what's one lesson that you think you're like man that really taught me this not to jump in without doing a little bit of research first cause we just we like like I said we were hood rich and we started getting better we start like we we went through the spending phase we saved we had a little savings and we're like fuck this money just in here what do we do and we we kind of just dove in without knowing business I I think yeah I think now like we we learn to research a little bit more before we do anything you know what I mean not just to like throw money at the wall and expect it to fucking flourish yeah I think it was a lot of that and I think it was a lot of me like I think I was ready to move on to something else and I just didn't know what that thing was and I've always had a love for education and so that's where I saw it going you know and I think at that point too there was some ego involved yeah definitely a lot of ego and I think at that point too we again we didn't know how to communicate so the easiest thing for you was to just be like okay yeah just in a sense like you didn't want to fight I just I didn't want to fight I didn't want to you were this and I didn't you know I don't want to burst your bubble on it you know what I mean yeah even even now it's still still my dream and I'm still gonna do it and I wasn't fully on board with it but I went with it and I did everything in my capacity to make it happen you did you know what I mean you did you were working so hard at that school yeah so it was time away from the kids it was time away from me like I was so invested in it but I just and honestly it was like you it's like we were saying you don't know what you don't know so I didn't know what it lacked and now looking back at it now I think when we do open up that um and I don't wanna open up cosmetology school here I think I wanna I wanna open up an esthetician school and so that's what we're gonna do in in a couple years um but I think now it's like okay don't put the car before the horse yeah um we are building up the credit first the business credit we're gonna do that first yeah we're gonna make sure the systems are in place they're written down the day by day procedural events will be written down for everybody um and so the I feel like I feel like now the more control that there is the more systems in place systems the greater chance of it to succeed and I think there is to succeed I think one of the big things was chasing shiny objects too like cause when you start being successful in one area you start getting opportunities in other areas and and you have money and you're able to throw in different areas but you should just focus in and harnessing on what you're doing perfect it get the systems in place and then you could like there you go open up other avenues to revenues and stuff but a lot of people get the shiny objects like a like a cat you were like a cat throwing yarn and just chasing it you know what I mean yeah cause it was there but I think I think we both kind of did that and I think we're we learn our lessons from chasing shiny objects yeah and then tying back into the people who really will be there for you in your life like um we we did um get some loans from a couple friends which we paid back with like a couple of weeks or whatever cause we were we were that deep there was so many nuances to it like um we had bought like $80,000 of equipment right this is just one example guys of like the amount of money that we still have a shipping container full of the equipment yes that we're gonna use we actually used it for our salon some of the stuff that we the salon we opened up that's that's some of the the equipment from the school yeah but we still have so much of it yeah we got a whole shipping container sitting in full equipment so I didn't know this and you didn't know this but these are these are the new awesomes that now we will learn yeah so I had no idea right all this money was tied up with the school construction I had no idea that when a shipping container comes in from China right a port and then and then the US goes hey yeah there's gonna be 8,000 dollar tax on that a port fee a port fee taxes that was$8,000 yeah and you're like fuck okay well my friend here um there my friend Selena she's like okay use my card yeah super fucking grateful for it we we have we have some good friends that helped us along the way we three yeah we didn't have a few we had three yeah yeah but still they helped you know no no that's but that's what I'm saying like I'm so fucking grateful and it was hard to like go hand hand hand and like have to ask somebody for yeah to help you know that's fucking hard and then so then okay so then the ship gets there right and they're like okay taxes so we were like we asked her friend um Selena first and she was like okay you know here's a card dude like as soon as I asked her to say she said yes and I was like fuck man like I was like fuck like this is what they believe in us you know so anyway so we pay the port fees and they're like okay so how are you gonna get it to the how are you gonna get it from LA yeah to Ventura to the city of Ventura which is a what would you say I don't know 60 miles 120 miles I don't know 40 oh no to the port of LA yeah probably like 67 miles yeah so guys that is a seven thousand dollar task yeah you have to pay a special uh truck right well they they load on truck and then you have to pay a crane to take it off and to put it on yeah and take it off because that same crane isn't gonna follow you and then it's like a whole fucking thing that I didn't know there goes another seven grand or something like that so we asked our friend Juan yeah remember it was it was so much it was so much and then we were so close to opening we were so fucking close and we asked my my my bestie Misty and Alex man Misty and Alex man I mean they they have been with us through so much I mean they're like like we we owe them so much like yeah we're family like it's honestly but just having the the the faith and the confidence to do that for us like we can't repay that like we could repay the money but we can repay that like I think to me I feel like we're in debt to them for life and and that loyalty but I'm glad to be in there to them you know yeah like I would yeah it's not even the money that but just like the fact that they said yes yeah when we did ask family oh family is um and they were like um what was it that the very first thing that came out when we asked somebody that you know a family member was like what if you don't pay us back I was like fuck dude like you think I would do that to you yeah like that blows my mind well that happens all the time though where people like take loans and they don't pay back that happens yeah but you know like I don't know it it depends who's asking but I'm telling you that's what I think of you yeah and so these other people who are in our blood family were like oh yeah sure like that babe you remember it was it was quick it was like a yes answer yeah like that and when you ask family they're like oh no no let me one but it's like no you you can essentially you cannot be trusted yeah you know and so I'm going on a ride here cause like I'm getting spicy you get you get sour a little bit yeah yeah but that's that's that's the way it is though you know but like when you but I I you you had a dream and you beg borrow to still do whatever we had to do to to try to make that dream happen unfortunately it didn't it happened for us but we Learned so fucking much from it man yeah and at this point I honestly I wouldn't even say unfortunately because I think it put us on a path where we are now yeah you know where I'm like I'm I'm grateful that we're here and I'm grateful that all these things happened even if at that time they didn't feel so good no they didn't feel fucking good at all it was it was fucking rough man I remember when we closed down the the Cosmo school I was like fuck man I sat there I remember I sat there in the truck with Missy and I was like Missy um my bestie I was like crying you know it was it was hard it was hard watching something that you you thought that you were so hard for you know I mean there were so many other things I could do but at the time I felt like this is all I know and this is all I could do and it still failed yeah I mean but like I said we fell forward you move on and you fucking dust yourself off and you get up and you fucking just push through and figure out figure out a new plan you know what I mean that's all you could do and I think that in all those failures too we also um Learned better implementation of systems yeah we're still learning I I think for sure you I I think when you're in business just in life in general you you never you're always learning you never know completely know something and if somebody tell you they know something completely they're full of shit it's always a learning experience you know yeah for sure yeah and I think that's that's in every every business that you're gonna open is gonna have some kind of nuance where you like have to learn that particular business and that particular business runs and how the particular business will run with what you wanna implement and how you wanna do things yeah and everything's always gonna be take longer and cost more than what you expect no matter what it's always gonna take longer and cost more yeah we thought we had money no we didn't have shit we thought we had money we we but that wasn't real money honestly we we what do we start with with that fucking school we didn't have the kind of money like it was it was like overtime I think by the time we broke ground we had already spend maybe I wanna say 30 40,000 no but how much do we have in the savings when we decided to take on that task I don't know it wasn't that much no it wasn't enough to open up a fucking and the thing is too like we opened in California yeah and it's the the the type of things we were said to make 1.3 on the first year yeah right to make that amount of money you're playing a whole different ball game with a bunch of different people we were in over our heads and so I didn't know that I didn't know that the laws for people at that point change like at that point you get the county coming after your ass yeah the state the city the uh like everybody comes out with with their hands out yeah and I think that's what we weren't prepared for either um the port that taxes the county the city the state the everybody yeah I I kinda I at that time I kinda knew we were in over our heads but like I said I I didn't wanna bust your bust your bubble you know so I just went along and like fuck it now we're gonna make this happen I'm gonna do everything in my power but I kind of I I knew from the beginning we were in overhead no and and I kind of I guess I didn't think about it that much but I'm saying like I didn't know all these people were gonna come in with their hands at one point I was like fog man can this really really dumb but I I saw it in my head I saw myself walking through the hallways and I saw what what it could be what we wanted to implement yeah what it could be yeah yeah but I had no idea that when in California when the sharks smell blood in the water somebody fucking fresh trying to get into the good old boys club yeah they're gonna come after your ass oh yeah they they don't and so even after we left the state we still have the fucking county trying to get money they're still coming at us trying to get money the state it's fucking crazy and we're gone and everything's been paid and everything's been closed I need to be closed and they're still trying to get money out of us yeah yeah and it's and I think that was new for me yeah I kind of well I was in construction so I heard you heard the horror stories I heard horror stories and I knew how the the cities and the counties operated so I kind of already was I was kind of already hit to like fuck this is gonna be a fucking nightmare yeah and then I hadn't dealt with that cause the biggest thing that I had opened was like a studio where I'm gonna work here and then I happen to have space so hey do you wanna rent person that I know you know what I mean so I hadn't created a business it kind of like started forming on its own but I didn't even treat it like a business yeah so for me anyway going from this is a place where I work out where my my friends at that time happen to work there too to going to a whole a legitimate business that's an s corporation and it requires corporate meetings and it requires all these things I wasn't ready for everybody else having their hand out but had we not done that and had not failed like that like we we still wouldn't know how to operate you know I mean that taught us how to operate taught us what we didn't know and it was expensive lesson but like you said I'm glad we I'm glad we Learned it you know I mean yeah at this point yeah like I'm I'm glad I Learned it and it's even though it's only been three years four years that we lost like four years now I think yeah like I feel like it's we're so so much ahead now where we need now where we want to be but so far ahead of where we were at that time oh yeah for sure and I think now looking back at it now or you when you and I talk about it like I can talk about it openly and freely and I still get spicy sometimes and still get a little little sour about it but I can be I can see the lessons in it you know and I'm I'm glad that we had those lessons even if they were fucking hard but it's it's like it goes back to like the what do they always say the fortune favors the bold you gotta be bold and be willing to fucking make mistakes and be willing to lose you know I mean you gotta put on the line sometimes and we did we lost yeah but we Learned and now we're made us that much what it makes you faster stronger and smarter and yeah and you know what I will fucking do it again I will do it better I will do it faster it'll be cheaper it's gonna be fucking perfect and it's gonna be everything that we wanted to be because we failed first yes and this time I'll put the brakes on you when you need the brakes on haha be like girl no yeah I'm not changing that for the fifth time yeah like you do you do not need to have that there yep um but at least we still have some of this stuff right yeah I mean we're gonna use it where we have a we have a plan and we're gonna use it as soon as there so so I think we're like I think even now before we even open the Citizen School you and I will sit down a year ahead of time oh yeah and like plan everything out and strategies and have dates for it and when you know what I mean and I want to have the will have the money the credit everything in place already before we jump into it you know I already have the building that I want there's two yeah you're right I I'm telling you I gotta put the brakes on her all the time we passed by building show let's call the realtor and like no no we're not doing that yet let's just look at it no we're not we're not even doing we're not even doing what the projects were doing you like I gotta put the brakes on that's that's a big lesson I Learned put the fucking brakes on like you know what sometimes I need that though yeah you can you can have a runaway train and jump on that fucking runaway train cause you're gonna crash put the fucking brakes on I I I'll give it to you I can be like a born in China shop sometimes you know I'm just like let's fucking do it let's fucking go let's fucking do it and sometimes it's like you know what let's talk about this first like I'm willing to speed up but I'm putting the fuck at my hands on the brakes really fucking fucking yeah throw those brakes on got you and I've I've Learned to respect that and I've Learned to know that I need that sometimes but that building that we passed today that when I keep telling you about it's too small for an institution school yeah I think it's too small I don't know we should go see nah ha ha ha ha ha ha not yet we're we're we're we're little we're a year or two before we make a couple years yeah yeah that's why I keep telling everybody like 2024 is is gonna be cool but we're gonna set up our systems and get everything in place and everything 2025 though it's gonna be the shit yeah 2027 mmm hmm it's gonna be great yep and then um shit that's that's fucking lessons there's so many more but there's a few yeah we'll hit on them in other episodes but I think uh those are some of the big lessons we Learned and we Learned them the hard way and uh hopefully you guys are able to hear that and kind of think about it before you guys make those you're gonna make you're gonna fail and you're gonna learn those lessons but at least maybe it might be a a bigger cushion for you guys you know what I mean and I will say like even when it seems hard just still fucking do it just go in accepting others people's um advice yeah but just fucking do it dude cause if you have a fucking dream like it's so it's so hard for some of us to just be like okay I'm gonna fucking do it so like if you have something you wanna do research the shit out of it don't lose your excitement like go for it cause you know the the world is made of of um dreamers yeah and life's too short to worry about what other people think like don't worry about what if if you failed who cares don't worry about people say about you they're gonna talk shit about you whether you do it or not at least you're doing something and you're learning a lesson and you're moving forward so don't worry don't worry about failing in front of other people I think a lot of people have that issue where they're scared to do something cause they're scared to fail and have people criticize them they're gonna criticize you whether you do it or not just fucking do it just fuck them and do it just fucking do it yeah don't worry about other people just fucking do it yeah I agree so um on that point we've been talking about our losses what do you think your win is for the week you know what so my win this week um was watching you create that real that you made today oh yeah yeah so that's I'm a I'm I'm trying to do I'm I'm trying to get out my my uh cinematography videography whatever you wanna call it editing and try to do something really good and like I wanna produce better content to put out there and I'm I'm digging in and trying to learn it's it's hard but I really really really wanna learn it and I think I made my first video where I feel like okay it's on the right right yeah and I I I watched you create it it was around it was so awesome oh thank you thank you so that's my win what's your look at you I know it's a hormonal week how am I supposed to win what are I coming with that now like make it by yourself go ahead it's a hormonal week it's a hormonal week so everything's like making me spicy everything's making me cry this week yeah it's one of those weeks but next week I'll be back to my vampire self yeah um my win I think um fuck what I say my win is I can't even think we're like just the same thing probably yeah I think just digging into that shit you gotta like you really got into your creative side yeah and I I I I have uh some stuff in vision that I wanna do and I just gotta learn the process of doing it and that's where I'm at right now and like I said I always feel good when I'm learning something and being productive and that's where I'm at again this week and just watching you is awesome watching you watch me is awesome haha anyway I think that's it for the episode and have a have a good holidays man good Christmas have a good New Year don't party too hard if you catch us out there partying buy us a drink cause we hopefully we get out for New Years and I'm fine like super shit face just ignore pretend you never saw me if you if you see me carrying her out the at the bar I'm not kidnapping her she just drunk and I'm taking her home and just make sure my dress is pulled down haha for real though alright guys well that was it for the podcast we'll catch you guys in a few alright talk to you guys later bye